Joy or misery?

I have been thinking a lot about happiness or misery.

Why is it that some people generally live happy lives, and others don't?

Is it because of what has happened to them? Is it because life was unfair to them? Is it because they don't have support? Is it because that's just the way it is?

If that is the case, then life is miserable and uncontrollable and there is no hope for happiness because we all (yes, we all) face hardships in our lives.

So that can't be.

I just listened to Elder Hallstrom's talk from General Conference in April 2010. It hit me hard then, and it hit me hard again now.

We cannot always choose what happens to us in our lives, yes, that is life. But we do choose our reactions.

He says, "No matter the size of the issue, how we respond can reset the course of our life."

I have been greatly saddened lately by the burdens I see other people carrying. It is depressing and gives me little hope of being able to conquer my own challenges, and by conquer I mean becoming better than I was before and moving forward with greater love and joy.

My favorite scripture is: Men are that they might have Joy (2 Nephi 2:25)

But I just recently saw the MIGHT part of it. Why might we have joy, why isn't it a guarantee?

Agency. We are free to choose how we act and react.

Elder Hallstrom goes on to say,

"Throughout the world...there is great joy and great pain, both are part of the plan. Without one, we cannot know the other."

The scriptures, "Men are that they might have Joy" and "There must be an opposition in all things" are not contradictory, they are complementary.

I have been experiencing a lot of opposition lately, but that is life. I;ve come to realize that opposition is ok, but how I react is what will determine the outcome of my life. I am learning how to react when things don't go my way. I am learning patience and greater love for others. I am learning how to become closer to the one who created me, and that is the only reason I am experience JOY rather than misery at this time in my life.

Keep moving forward, and turn to God. It's hard to even make that step because we humans, we want to become angry and resentful...it feels better in the moment. But don't. Take all the courage that is in you, kneel down, offer thanks, and ask for help. In the long run, this makes for a good good even a JOYFUL life.

"Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually."

It is how you react during hard times that ultimately determine how happy you become. It is easy to be happy when things are going great. Learn to find the good in the times you feel life is not so good....because in adversity are hidden gems and stepping stones to help us progress.

Was Blind but Now I See

Everyone is in a different stage in life and learning different things at different levels. [That is why we shouldn't EVER judge other people's decisions because we simple do not know where they are at in their own personal development--but that's a topic for another day].

I pray often. I used to be able to pray and just receive, that simple. But as my understanding has grown of who I am and who I should become as a person and daughter of a loving Father in Heaven, the way I pray and what I ask for has changed quite a bit.

I had an experience this morning that taught me a lot about my attitude when I pray and ask for something.

We are in the middle of a big move. Most of our stuff is boxed up, and will stay boxed up for quite some time until we settle down. I was looking for something that I needed now, this was last week. I was very overwhelmed with our move and things seemed very chaotic in my mind. My patience was low, and I was very frustrated.

Of course I prayed that I would find what I was looking for, and I fully expected that I would find it. But I didn't.

A few days later, after my emotions had calmed down a bit and I was a bit less overwhelmed, I felt at peace that I would find what I was looking for, and basically to just chill out a bit. This scared me cause I didn't know if it meant that I wouldn't find it but that it was ok, or that I would eventually find it. So I just chilled out a bit for a few days and stopped thinking about it so much.

This morning, I felt great. My daughter went down for a nap, and so I decided to would go out and look for these items once again. The thought of having to go out and sift through everything again was overhwleming, but I didn't let it get to me.

About 10 minutes after I got into the storage area, I found the box I was looking for!

There it was, right in front of my face, labeled as I knew I had labeled it, in the box that I thought it would be in.

Why did I not see this before??? I literally turned everything upside down just a week prior, and I did not see it sitting there right in front of my eyes. I learned a lot from this small experience, and although it wasn't something I needed that was life changing, it was important to me at this time.

It's good to pray, but even better to be in the right attitude and spirit when we ask for something. It's like whinning and crying that we want something, but never stopping and standing still to actually listen for the directives to get what it is we are wanting/needing.

"Be still and know that I am God"

Controlling Others: not the answer

I had a mini break-through these past few days.

My 5 month old daughter had been getting up every 2 hours during the night. Part of this may have to do with a major change in her schedule as we went to Canada for a week.

I've been exhausted.

I've always been a firm believer in prayer.

So, to my logic, I prayed every night and day that she would give me a good nights rest. Ask and ye shall receive, right?? Well yea, but no.

A few days ago, a thought came to mind: change the way you pray.

I prayed that I would be given the energy I needed to be able to cater to her needs. I prayed that I would know what I could do to help her sleep longer and better. I prayed that I would be given more patience to deal with her at three in the morning. While praying for these things, I still maintained the hope that she would start sleeping better and through the night.

I realized that I cannot pray to change others, but I can pray that I will be able to cope better with situations, because I can change myself, and that is something I do have control over.

As a result, I honestly feel much happier and more energetic. I embrace her personality, and haven't been getting upset with her or resenting her for taking away my precious sleep.

Kind of selfish of me now that I look back.

Here's to mini breakthroughs!

Meditate

I am reading a book called, "The Master Key System," by Charles F. Hannel.

I finished part 1, and at the end it says to meditate 15-30 minutes daily for a week before proceeding.

Hard to get into meditating, but it's wonderful. Our minds are what controls our lives, but the unfortunate thing is that society has gotten into a trap of always having our minds occupied by other useless things. If we're not on our cell phone, we have an ipod stuck in our ears, and if not we are downing our thoughts with our worries and wonders of what will happen next.

Guess what, what happens next is up to you.

Think about it. We only use less than 10% of our brain power. God, who is perfect, uses 100% of His, I would assume. He creates worlds without end, and all the elements obey his commands.

Meditate. Sit upright. Close your eyes. Meditate. Clear your mind. Smile. Meditate. Appreciate. Be grateful. Meditate.

What a gift we have, to be able to use our brains and imagine our future while being grateful for our present.

Meditate. It's good for you.

Comparing--Part 2

"...When following the promptings inside of her soul to do whatever is important for her own life plan she simply has no equal." CJane

The beautiful thing about this life is that we are all individuals. Comparing ourselves to others only means that we are not satisfied with who we are as individuals, and that defies our purpose on this earth. The only person who can change that is you.

I am not talking about looking at others who are good role models and striving to become a better person yourself. I am talking about the kind of comparing that makes you feel bad about yourself, that makes you wish you were not you, that makes you envy that other person and think they have it better and easier than you do. Stop. You are unique and incredible--even if you don't believe that yet. You have the potential to be great. The only person who can change that is you.

No one is perfect. We all have flaws that we want to get rid of. Comparing is probably a flaw that most women possess, unfortunately. We need to overcome this because it is deadly to our divine potential.

I believe in personal revelation. Why would anyone need to communicate with God if we were all meant to be the same all the time? The truth is, we all have different likes and dislikes, we all have different talents, and we are all meant to progress towards the same goal in a different way.

We have NO equal when we follow promptings inside our soul because at that point we are on a different level. We are acting at a level that is superior to all the trends of this world. We are acting in accordance to the one who created us, the one who loves us more than anyone else, the one who knows what will make us happy.

Stop comparing. Look at yourself and figure out what it is that you would like to improve on. Then communicate with the one who can help you do that in a way that will truly fill your heart with joy. Comparing only makes you wish you were a little more like someone else. You were not meant to be someone else, you were meant to be you.

Love yourself. If you don't, learn to do so. Loving you for you is happiness. Then you can love others with all of who you are, and that is also happiness.

Comparing--Part 1

"She isn't less than, or more than, the next woman or man. She is her own entity which becomes cheapened when compared to others. When following the promptings inside of her soul to do whatever is important for her own life plan she simply has no equal." -cjane

Wow this quote summarized exactly what I've been thinking about all week.

I would say one of the major downsides of personal blogs and facebook is that it heightens comparison.

Many people now feel that in order to be happy, they need to prove it to everyone--everyone in the web world at least. I just read a friends' blog post that basically said she feels like a crappy mom because she sees other mom blogs and feels she isn't doing as much as them. Note: this woman felt she needed to go back to school, so she did (following the promptings insider her soul, which is GOOD!) which obviously means she may not have time to go to the zoo or travel to the ocean every weekend as other people may have. It saddened me, because I know that MANY women feel this way...and this is dangerous to our self-worth.

Lets be honest. Everyone looks as though they have an awesome life in pictures. Why would you snap a picture of you and your hubby in the middle of an argument, and post it? We all tend to take pictures of good times and moments--which is great for positivity and good memories....but not so great when all of a sudden everyone is competing and comparing who has the "better life."

Side note: what constitutes a "good life" anyways? I would say the measure of joy we feel, and how much we enjoy life...and that is not comparable from one person to the next, only you truly know that (topic for another time).

Our worth as INDIVIDUALS is indeed cheapened when we compare ourselves to others. We all came down to earth with different baggage (different skills, talents, faults, looks, likes, dislikes, views etc..) so it doesn't even make sense to try and compare ourselves to ANYONE else.

It's like comparing a professional basketball player to a professional artist, and asking who has more talent...

Why do we do this????

I have come to learn that in order to be happy, and I mean truly happy, I need to be happy with me, all of me: pros and cons...and yes or course, work on my weaknesses as I go along. Don't get me wrong...I think it is human nature (for a lot of women at least) to compare, and yes I have been guilty of just that many times. But over the past few years I have read and researched a lot about living to be happy, to have JOY, and to live abundantly in all areas...and I love what I've learned, and I like to think I am applying it in full force and improving little by little.

Want to be happier? Don't compare.

Instead, be grateful. You are so blessed in your own individual way: seek to realize it and live a grateful and happy life, really.

Next post will be about the second half of that quote: "When following the promptings inside of her soul to do whatever is important for her own life plan she simply has no equal."

Let go, and let God

We all know the Mother Goose story of Humpty Dumpty who sat on a wall and had a great fall, but how many of us have thought about what this story is trying to teach us about pride and on whom we rely on for help when we fall.

"All the kings horses, and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty together again." Note that in this scenario, Humpty was relying upon men of the flesh, and of course his fall was so great that they could not fix him.

How often do we look to the arm of flesh first to put us back together again when we get hurt, when we make mistakes, when we feel helpless.

Our world today is filled with lawyers, doctors, therapists, financial gurus, whom we all seem to turn to first when we have a problem. Yes, these options can help us and if used correctly, can favor and benefit us, but why not first turn to the one who created us and who knows us better than we know ourselves, and better yet, who knows us better than what a text book taught these lawyers, doctors, therapists, financial gurus about how to "fix" problems.

In the story of the ten lepers, we know that only one came back to give praise to the Savior who had healed him. All 10 were healed skin deep, but only one had the faith to be made whole. Being made whole is much more valuable when looking into the eternities. Getting therapy for a drug problem and getting medication for an illness can heal us skin deep, but if we want lasting changes in our lives, we must look to the one who created all things for true healing.

A friend once told me about an immense struggle she had recently had. Her husband was almost done with his pHD, and a few months before the program ended, the program was shut down and thus he was unable to complete his degree, after all that hard work and money...they lost it all, and had three children. Although anger filled their hearts and the temptation to sew the professor who ended the program was great, they felt great peace as they kneeled before their maker, even God the Father, and felt they should move out west and not pursue a law case again the university. As she told me and other women this story, two other women remarked that they would have sewed, that they didn't deserve to be treated that way, and that in order to move on with their lives, it would have been better to get compensated and get what they "deserved."

Well this woman who had been wronged was wise, and simply replied that she felt at peace with what they did. Today, her husband has a wonderful secure job that he loves, they just bought a beautiful new home, and they are expecting their fourth child. Best of all, they are happy and feel truly at peace and healed from the wrongs that were done against them.

What good does it do to get revenge against those who have wronged us? Does it really solve the problem? No, it certainly does not. Only He who created us can stand as a judge of any situation, because only He knows our hearts. Instead, let go and let God. use the atonement that was done on our behalf to unload our burdens and feel whole again...and let God do what he will with those who have wronged you.

Life is like a big stage. We all have a time and a role to play when our scene comes up. When issues arise, don't look to the other actors on stage for guidance and direction, but rather look at the one who directs and finances the whole production. Rely on God, and not in the flesh.